I can't stress to you how much I know I could be worse off.
But headaches, they affect your mind, and your perspective.
Even as I cried in my dad's arms last night, there was a guy on the news who had been on the organ donor list for years. He's really sick. He's worse off.
I'm not dying, but sometimes it feels like I am. And sometimes it feels like it would be better if I did.
Headaches are underestimated. You can't see them. If you don't suffer from headaches you can't understand the pain. If you've never experienced a migraine, then be grateful and pray you never do.
The pain that can sometimes be a waking nightmare. A pain that stops you from moving, because every movement feels like the searing of flesh.
It encourages a state of mind where nothing exists but the pain. Where you can't get to sleep because it hurts. Where you wake up early from the pain. Where you could be eating cat food for all you know, because your taste is dulled and the repetitive chewing motion you're putting yourself through feels like it'll go on forever. You're not in control of it, you're on autopilot.
This headache, the constant dull tension headache and the throbbing migraines alike, they rob me of my control. Control over my movements, my actions. Control of my head.
And especially control over who I am.
I emerge from my dark bedroom and my sick day still in pain. The remnants of yesterday's migraine linger on.
And I soldier on. 8 years of pain.
But I think I might be beaten.
There's only so much a person can take.
