Yesterday I got a migraine so bad I have rated it a 12 on my tracking app.
And all I can say is I am really freakin' fed up on this.
I don't know what caused it. Something I ate? Something I drank? The sun? Not enough water?
Maybe it is time to subject myself to that headache prevention diet.
Sob.
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Deep Tissue Massage Saturday 13th April
Yesterday I had the pleasure (and in some ways the pain!) of a deep tissue massage by Cindy Mollineau, a mobile massage therapist that I found in the Sutton Complementary Health Register.
Cindy came to my house with her own massage table, aromatherapy oils and music. (I was glad for the music - the only chillout music I have are acoustic versions of rock songs it seems!)
Cindy has been practicing deep tissue massage for 6 years. She started training in 2005, and she did course after course - and got hooked on it. (This is something I have heard many alternative therapists say - sometimes they are originally a patient themselves and they are converted.)
In many ways the massage was what I was expecting - Cindy got into the tightest areas of muscles, and worked to ease out some of knots. Needless to say that I felt a lot freer when she had finished, but I continue to have knots the size of golf balls in my shoulders (at least that's what they feel like to me). This is not because Cindy didn't do enough - she did more than enough. It is simply a consequence of having left these knots to form of their own accord for so long that they seem rooted in their place, and really I think the best way to eliminate them would be a week's worth of 2 hour massages.
Maybe I will treat myself to that at sometime.
You can find Cindy's website here.
Cindy came to my house with her own massage table, aromatherapy oils and music. (I was glad for the music - the only chillout music I have are acoustic versions of rock songs it seems!)
Cindy has been practicing deep tissue massage for 6 years. She started training in 2005, and she did course after course - and got hooked on it. (This is something I have heard many alternative therapists say - sometimes they are originally a patient themselves and they are converted.)
In many ways the massage was what I was expecting - Cindy got into the tightest areas of muscles, and worked to ease out some of knots. Needless to say that I felt a lot freer when she had finished, but I continue to have knots the size of golf balls in my shoulders (at least that's what they feel like to me). This is not because Cindy didn't do enough - she did more than enough. It is simply a consequence of having left these knots to form of their own accord for so long that they seem rooted in their place, and really I think the best way to eliminate them would be a week's worth of 2 hour massages.
Maybe I will treat myself to that at sometime.
You can find Cindy's website here.
Friday, 12 April 2013
A Miserable Morning
This morning I woke up with a bad, bad headache.
I struggled all day yesterday with one, and managed not to take any pain killers.
But as soon as I woke up I knew I would need to take some in order to get on with my day.
It is a miserable morning as the rain trickles down. And it's a miserable morning as I drag myself out of bed, with a head full of lead.
I can't even appreciate the sun pushing its way through the clouds, because this is the kind of headache that favours dark rooms, not sunshine and fluorescent lighting.
And the nausea that accompanies it is making my breakfast repeat on me. I don't want noodles a second time. And then my stomach is struggling with all this action and the upset has given me a stitch.
But it's the anger and frustration that makes this hardest to deal with. What did I do this time? Did I sleep funny? Did I not drink enough water? Did I eat too much fruit?!
I'm intent on making more positive changes to my lifestyle, and I am rewarded with a headache that to me resembles a melon expanding inside my skull.
And I am ashamed to say that it's mornings like this which make life so miserable that I question the point of even bothering.
I struggled all day yesterday with one, and managed not to take any pain killers.
But as soon as I woke up I knew I would need to take some in order to get on with my day.
It is a miserable morning as the rain trickles down. And it's a miserable morning as I drag myself out of bed, with a head full of lead.
I can't even appreciate the sun pushing its way through the clouds, because this is the kind of headache that favours dark rooms, not sunshine and fluorescent lighting.
And the nausea that accompanies it is making my breakfast repeat on me. I don't want noodles a second time. And then my stomach is struggling with all this action and the upset has given me a stitch.
But it's the anger and frustration that makes this hardest to deal with. What did I do this time? Did I sleep funny? Did I not drink enough water? Did I eat too much fruit?!
I'm intent on making more positive changes to my lifestyle, and I am rewarded with a headache that to me resembles a melon expanding inside my skull.
And I am ashamed to say that it's mornings like this which make life so miserable that I question the point of even bothering.
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Silent Enemy
There lives a silent enemy inside
That destroys the good of a heart.
This silent enemy that lives inside
Seems so reluctant to leave.
My silent enemy that stays inside
Twists and turns, stabs and burns.
This silent enemy that lies inside
Is breaking down my soul.
But I can scream and shout, bellow and yell.
I will laugh and sing, giggle and smile.
Because my silent enemy has no voice.
And I do.
That destroys the good of a heart.
This silent enemy that lives inside
Seems so reluctant to leave.
My silent enemy that stays inside
Twists and turns, stabs and burns.
This silent enemy that lies inside
Is breaking down my soul.
But I can scream and shout, bellow and yell.
I will laugh and sing, giggle and smile.
Because my silent enemy has no voice.
And I do.
Sunday, 7 April 2013
A Headache Bible
Last night I spent some time gathering together all my medical notes, articles and information that I have about my headache and headaches in general. Finally putting them together in a folder makes them easier to get to and look at, which hopefully will encourage me to refer to and use these treatments more frequently.
Want to go on a tour?
I've also got medical notes from York Hospital, Parkside Hospital, and St Anthony's.
I've blue-tacked a sheet of exercises to my wall so I have quick access to them, and I have rediscovered a whole load of personal notes on treating my headache through relaxation and psychological treatment. Those will be interesting to read through more thoroughly.
**
This week I had a mild migraine attack. I should have seen it coming, because I had been struggling with my head for two days. I just couldn't get comfortable in the pain, and it was originating in my neck and base of my skull on the right hand side. I had some rather nasty and sharp pains inside my right eye on Thursday - the day of the migraine - and although I took 3 tablets (1 ibuprofen and 2 paracetamol), even as I walked home that evening I wanted to hack out that side of my face.
I finally got round to looking at a cookbook I bought for treating my headache.
Unfortunately, it wants me to follow a prevention diet for 2 months that means I can only eat 1/2 a banana a day.
What do you do with the other half??
I'll be considering that option more carefully, and might not follow it strictly, but there may be something I've not noticed before that might trigger headaches in my diet. It would be useful to know.
Unless it's chocolate. If it's chocolate, I don't want to know.
Want to go on a tour?
 |
| Welcome to my headache bible! |
 |
| I have many different fact sheets on all the different types of headaches there are. |
 |
| A fact sheet on lifestyle changes that can help reduce or prevent headaches. |
 |
| I have 2 sides of A4 dedicated to alternative treatments for migraines and tension headaches, cut out from magazines and newspapers |
 |
| This cheery fellow is demonstrating how to do the Bowen Massage technique on yourself. |
 | ||
| And this is the science behind what could possibly be the reason for my perpetual pain. |
 |
| Just a selection of all the different drugs I've been prescribed. |
I've also got medical notes from York Hospital, Parkside Hospital, and St Anthony's.
I've blue-tacked a sheet of exercises to my wall so I have quick access to them, and I have rediscovered a whole load of personal notes on treating my headache through relaxation and psychological treatment. Those will be interesting to read through more thoroughly.
**
This week I had a mild migraine attack. I should have seen it coming, because I had been struggling with my head for two days. I just couldn't get comfortable in the pain, and it was originating in my neck and base of my skull on the right hand side. I had some rather nasty and sharp pains inside my right eye on Thursday - the day of the migraine - and although I took 3 tablets (1 ibuprofen and 2 paracetamol), even as I walked home that evening I wanted to hack out that side of my face.
I finally got round to looking at a cookbook I bought for treating my headache.
What do you do with the other half??
I'll be considering that option more carefully, and might not follow it strictly, but there may be something I've not noticed before that might trigger headaches in my diet. It would be useful to know.
Unless it's chocolate. If it's chocolate, I don't want to know.
Monday, 18 February 2013
Chiropractic sessions
At my first Chiropractic session, my practitioner started by beginning to address the muscle imbalance in my body, i.e. all the knots, tightness and weak spots.
Starting on my front, he inserted an acupuncture needle into each shoulder, towards the end of the shoulder, at the apex of my arm, in places where he could find the sorest knot (and he had plenty of knots to choose from).
Acupuncture needles are used to stimulate groups of muscles or knots to move, to release into the correct position.
When he was locating a knot to place the acupuncture needle into, the knot on my right shoulder was very sore to the touch. But when the needles were inserted, and left to do their work, it was the left shoulder that began to ache around the needle. Which is just the reaction we're looking for, my practitioner said.
Whilst these needles were doing their magic, he also used a Tens machine on the rest of my back, placing four paddles in a rectangular shape (from what i could feel) from in line with my armpits to lower down on my ribs. The Tens machine itself made a lot of noise, a bit like a vaccum, but I've used a Tens machine before (when I was a kid, and played around with my mum's) so I knew what to expect. At first the machine was programmed to gradually increase the strength of a pins and needles type sensation through the paddle, and then it oscillated across the paddles in waves, diagonally from lower to upper, and across and then down again.
After the Tens machine had been turned off, and the acupuncture needles removed, he massaged my shoulder area, to "increase the muscle tone" I think he said. After some massage, he placed a towel over my shoulders, and made an adjustment to my back. An adjustment being cracking a joint that needed cracking. Ok, that is the simple way of putting it. I took a deep breath in, and when I exhaled, he adjusted my back.
Craaack.
Ahhh.
Turning onto my back, he made some adjustments to my neck. He turns my head gently, and then makes a little "impulse", which is a quick turn to that side, designed to help make adjustments. He said it doesn't always crack, because the joints don't always need to crack, but the impulses are designed to make the joints move. He did an impulse on a joint on my left side of my neck, and then on the right, and then when he went back to my left side, to a different joint.
Craaaaaaack-craaack-craaack.
Owwwwww.
It hurt a lot more, as I commented to him, than when I crack my neck. But that is because he actually cracked a joint that was stiff, and needed cracking.
Then he used his fingers hold specific areas under my skull. I have learned that this is the "suboccipital" area, named so because it is below the "occipitus" area.
Whoever knew this would be educational as well?
As I lay there and surrendered to the pressure of his fingers, the right side began to get very sore. I lay there for a while, thinking I could put up with it, but eventually I told him, and he released some of the pressure. Ahh, I relaxed.
He repeated that for normal people, the initial pressure is quite intense, and then it tends to dissipate. Whereas mine just got worse on the right side, and did nothing on the left.
But it was when he took his fingers away, that the muscles reacted so strangely, and the sharp pain that radiated in that area made me cry out.
Argh!
"All I did was take my fingers away!"
"I knoww, but it hurt!"
Something tells me this is going to take a while...
***
Session 2 - see above, but less pain. Except for when the Tens Machine was duly making the muscles work, and the area in the left shoulder with the acupuncture needle started aching a hell of a lot, and the pain started spreading up my neck and into my head.
***
Session 3 - see Session 2, but less pain spreading up my neck whilst the Tens Machine worked with the acupuncture needle.
He also taught me how to do a "scapular retraction". Which is a fancy term for squeezing my shoulder blades together.
***
Session 4 - see sessions 2 & 3 except this time, agony. At first, the left shoulder area had a few sharp twinges shortly after he had set the Tens machine up. He turned down the intensity, which helped hugely. But then my right started hurting, sharp stabbing pains inside my shoulder, and the left one joined in, and I almost cried. The pain seemed to come from inside my muscle and around the needle and began to spread up my neck. Oh the relief when he turned the machine off and took the needles out, especially the left one.
***
P.S Scapular retractions hurt. He said he is not surprised it hurts when I do them, but the important thing is that I keep doing them. If I didn't think this would help, I would take the same view of eating meat - I don't like it, therefore why should I do it?
***
Session 5 - no bad pain this time, hooray! Lying on my back, with his fingers on pressure points at the base of my skull, the intensity I felt at the pressure point on my right lessened. This, as my chiropractor has said before, is what happens to normal people with this treatment. I let him know how it was feeling, and how I relaxed I felt.
And right on cue, it reacted and as he took his fingers I yelped in pain.
Typical.
***
Sessions 6 & 7 - no pain, just relaxation
***
I now have a week without seeing my chiropractor, as he is away skiing. He says that we shall see how my head neck and back cope without what has up until now been a weekly session, and see if we need to continue having sessions weekly, or if we can have sessions fortnightly and then continue to space them out.
Starting on my front, he inserted an acupuncture needle into each shoulder, towards the end of the shoulder, at the apex of my arm, in places where he could find the sorest knot (and he had plenty of knots to choose from).
Acupuncture needles are used to stimulate groups of muscles or knots to move, to release into the correct position.
When he was locating a knot to place the acupuncture needle into, the knot on my right shoulder was very sore to the touch. But when the needles were inserted, and left to do their work, it was the left shoulder that began to ache around the needle. Which is just the reaction we're looking for, my practitioner said.
Whilst these needles were doing their magic, he also used a Tens machine on the rest of my back, placing four paddles in a rectangular shape (from what i could feel) from in line with my armpits to lower down on my ribs. The Tens machine itself made a lot of noise, a bit like a vaccum, but I've used a Tens machine before (when I was a kid, and played around with my mum's) so I knew what to expect. At first the machine was programmed to gradually increase the strength of a pins and needles type sensation through the paddle, and then it oscillated across the paddles in waves, diagonally from lower to upper, and across and then down again.
After the Tens machine had been turned off, and the acupuncture needles removed, he massaged my shoulder area, to "increase the muscle tone" I think he said. After some massage, he placed a towel over my shoulders, and made an adjustment to my back. An adjustment being cracking a joint that needed cracking. Ok, that is the simple way of putting it. I took a deep breath in, and when I exhaled, he adjusted my back.
Craaack.
Ahhh.
Turning onto my back, he made some adjustments to my neck. He turns my head gently, and then makes a little "impulse", which is a quick turn to that side, designed to help make adjustments. He said it doesn't always crack, because the joints don't always need to crack, but the impulses are designed to make the joints move. He did an impulse on a joint on my left side of my neck, and then on the right, and then when he went back to my left side, to a different joint.
Craaaaaaack-craaack-craaack.
Owwwwww.
It hurt a lot more, as I commented to him, than when I crack my neck. But that is because he actually cracked a joint that was stiff, and needed cracking.
Then he used his fingers hold specific areas under my skull. I have learned that this is the "suboccipital" area, named so because it is below the "occipitus" area.
Whoever knew this would be educational as well?
As I lay there and surrendered to the pressure of his fingers, the right side began to get very sore. I lay there for a while, thinking I could put up with it, but eventually I told him, and he released some of the pressure. Ahh, I relaxed.
He repeated that for normal people, the initial pressure is quite intense, and then it tends to dissipate. Whereas mine just got worse on the right side, and did nothing on the left.
But it was when he took his fingers away, that the muscles reacted so strangely, and the sharp pain that radiated in that area made me cry out.
Argh!
"All I did was take my fingers away!"
"I knoww, but it hurt!"
Something tells me this is going to take a while...
***
Session 2 - see above, but less pain. Except for when the Tens Machine was duly making the muscles work, and the area in the left shoulder with the acupuncture needle started aching a hell of a lot, and the pain started spreading up my neck and into my head.
***
Session 3 - see Session 2, but less pain spreading up my neck whilst the Tens Machine worked with the acupuncture needle.
He also taught me how to do a "scapular retraction". Which is a fancy term for squeezing my shoulder blades together.
***
Session 4 - see sessions 2 & 3 except this time, agony. At first, the left shoulder area had a few sharp twinges shortly after he had set the Tens machine up. He turned down the intensity, which helped hugely. But then my right started hurting, sharp stabbing pains inside my shoulder, and the left one joined in, and I almost cried. The pain seemed to come from inside my muscle and around the needle and began to spread up my neck. Oh the relief when he turned the machine off and took the needles out, especially the left one.
***
P.S Scapular retractions hurt. He said he is not surprised it hurts when I do them, but the important thing is that I keep doing them. If I didn't think this would help, I would take the same view of eating meat - I don't like it, therefore why should I do it?
***
Session 5 - no bad pain this time, hooray! Lying on my back, with his fingers on pressure points at the base of my skull, the intensity I felt at the pressure point on my right lessened. This, as my chiropractor has said before, is what happens to normal people with this treatment. I let him know how it was feeling, and how I relaxed I felt.
And right on cue, it reacted and as he took his fingers I yelped in pain.
Typical.
***
Sessions 6 & 7 - no pain, just relaxation
***
I now have a week without seeing my chiropractor, as he is away skiing. He says that we shall see how my head neck and back cope without what has up until now been a weekly session, and see if we need to continue having sessions weekly, or if we can have sessions fortnightly and then continue to space them out.
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Trying to be NICE
The Chiltern Health Centre, where I have been most recently for a chiropractic consultation, and at the beginning of last year for hypnotherapy, drew my attention to a recent report from NICE, regarding medication overuse headaches. This blog, written by one of the practitioners at the clinic, talks about the report's findings and looks at it from a Chiropractic and Osteopathic perspective (the author is herself an Osteopath).
Medication Overuse headache is caused, put simply, by taking too many painkillers. This amounts to taking over the counter medicines such as aspirin, paracetamol and ibuprofen (which is an NSAID - non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) on more than 15 days a month, or opioids, ergots, triptans for more than 10 days a month. These latter three are anti-migraine medicines. I have in fact been prescribed with Triptans, to help fight any migraine attacks. I got a prescription of 6 tablets about 3 or 4 years ago, and am now down to my last tablet.
Taking painkillers for a headache can result in a withdrawal headache if you rely too much on the drugs to eliminate the pain. The "vicious cycle" as it so often described is accurate. My head hurts, and I want it to stop. So I take a pill. But taking the pill makes my head hurt, and because my head still hurts, I take another pill. My head still hurts. And so the cycle continues.
NICE's recommendation, according to the blog & the report, is cease taking the medication immediately, and stay off them for a month. Unfortunately, as is pointed out by the blog and many other sources, "Headache symptoms are likely to get worse in the short term before they improve and there may be associated withdrawal symptoms"
So. My head hurts. I take a pill. The pill makes my head hurt. I take another pill. Cycle.
My head hurts. I stop taking pills. My still hurts, and in fact, almost like a nicotine craving in the brain when you quit smoking, the head goes ballistic with pain because it's not getting any pills, and because you can't take any pills, the pain doesn't go away or decrease when you need or want it to. Slowly, this pain does subside, and the dependence dissipates. Eventually, hopefully, cycle broken.
I am hopelessly reliant on painkillers. It used to be ibuprofen, but more recently it is paracetamol, because (inevitably, really) ibuprofen wasn't really doing the trick. And at first, paracetamol did too. And to some extent, paracetamol still works because it often takes the edge off the worst headaches (and I now reserve painkiller usage to when I can't move without my head or face searing with pain).
The chiropractor I saw for my second opinion reminded me of these findings/recommendations, and after I saw him, I decided to give two weeks a go. I had already accidentally managed a week, so I decided to try for another week. Needless to say, this second week has not been as breezy (because my headache is self-aware and resists any attempts to remove it?) From Sunday through to Tuesday, I was in quite a lot of pain. Alcohol dulled the pain, but left me open to dehydration related agony the following day, so I kept that at a glass or two in the evening.
By Tuesday (1st Jan) I couldn't do it. I couldn't move without my head being in agony, and I couldn't get to sleep to try and make it go away. So I gave in and took a triptan tablet. This isn't strictly forbidden, from my understanding, since my dependence is on regular painkillers. And it certainly helped take most of the headache away, and I was able to actually get stuff done and be myself again. As I commented to a friend, Monday was "just one of those days that no matter what, I am my headache. There's no happiness, sadness, excitement, nothing." And that was only day two. So by day three, even though I was willing myself to be strong, I'm not made of stone, and I took a pill.
But today is the last day of two weeks without paracetamol, ibuprofen or aspirin. Tomorrow, I'll embark on another two weeks and hopefully be able to negotiate any agony with resistance.
The end goal is freedom. If I keep that in mind, I think I'll be able to do it.
But I reserve the right to have a duvet day if I feel like my head is expanding from the inside out.
Medication Overuse headache is caused, put simply, by taking too many painkillers. This amounts to taking over the counter medicines such as aspirin, paracetamol and ibuprofen (which is an NSAID - non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) on more than 15 days a month, or opioids, ergots, triptans for more than 10 days a month. These latter three are anti-migraine medicines. I have in fact been prescribed with Triptans, to help fight any migraine attacks. I got a prescription of 6 tablets about 3 or 4 years ago, and am now down to my last tablet.
Taking painkillers for a headache can result in a withdrawal headache if you rely too much on the drugs to eliminate the pain. The "vicious cycle" as it so often described is accurate. My head hurts, and I want it to stop. So I take a pill. But taking the pill makes my head hurt, and because my head still hurts, I take another pill. My head still hurts. And so the cycle continues.
NICE's recommendation, according to the blog & the report, is cease taking the medication immediately, and stay off them for a month. Unfortunately, as is pointed out by the blog and many other sources, "Headache symptoms are likely to get worse in the short term before they improve and there may be associated withdrawal symptoms"
So. My head hurts. I take a pill. The pill makes my head hurt. I take another pill. Cycle.
My head hurts. I stop taking pills. My still hurts, and in fact, almost like a nicotine craving in the brain when you quit smoking, the head goes ballistic with pain because it's not getting any pills, and because you can't take any pills, the pain doesn't go away or decrease when you need or want it to. Slowly, this pain does subside, and the dependence dissipates. Eventually, hopefully, cycle broken.
I am hopelessly reliant on painkillers. It used to be ibuprofen, but more recently it is paracetamol, because (inevitably, really) ibuprofen wasn't really doing the trick. And at first, paracetamol did too. And to some extent, paracetamol still works because it often takes the edge off the worst headaches (and I now reserve painkiller usage to when I can't move without my head or face searing with pain).
The chiropractor I saw for my second opinion reminded me of these findings/recommendations, and after I saw him, I decided to give two weeks a go. I had already accidentally managed a week, so I decided to try for another week. Needless to say, this second week has not been as breezy (because my headache is self-aware and resists any attempts to remove it?) From Sunday through to Tuesday, I was in quite a lot of pain. Alcohol dulled the pain, but left me open to dehydration related agony the following day, so I kept that at a glass or two in the evening.
By Tuesday (1st Jan) I couldn't do it. I couldn't move without my head being in agony, and I couldn't get to sleep to try and make it go away. So I gave in and took a triptan tablet. This isn't strictly forbidden, from my understanding, since my dependence is on regular painkillers. And it certainly helped take most of the headache away, and I was able to actually get stuff done and be myself again. As I commented to a friend, Monday was "just one of those days that no matter what, I am my headache. There's no happiness, sadness, excitement, nothing." And that was only day two. So by day three, even though I was willing myself to be strong, I'm not made of stone, and I took a pill.
But today is the last day of two weeks without paracetamol, ibuprofen or aspirin. Tomorrow, I'll embark on another two weeks and hopefully be able to negotiate any agony with resistance.
The end goal is freedom. If I keep that in mind, I think I'll be able to do it.
But I reserve the right to have a duvet day if I feel like my head is expanding from the inside out.
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