I have a headache right now. It's pretty tight around my forehead, sharp aching.
But I'm not writing it down. I've made earlier this evening my cut off point for my headache diary, and I've spent the best part of two hours filling in and typing out and now printing 6 months worth of headache diary.
I'm almost ready for the appointment tomorrow. Physically anyway, with all the paper work and documents.
But mentally?
Nah. Not at all.
33 pieces of A4 paper, 32 double sided.
Month 1 printed out from my excel document came out as 15 pages.
Thankfully my dad buys the printer paper.
Showing posts with label hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital. Show all posts
Sunday, 22 March 2015
Thursday, 25 September 2014
My Head Aches: Part 5, aka The part where disappointment is the most bitter taste
When life gives you lemons...
Walking away from St Helier hospital on Monday, I couldn't help but cry. I tried not to; I was in public, about to get on a bus. But even on the phone to my nan, who I know I need to be strong for because of everything else going on, I broke down.
And when my mum phoned me a bit later, I was in the middle of another big cry.
I couldn't help but feel like I'd lost. Like this was my last stand - insisting I got referred, desperate for a new perspective.
I didn't get a new perspective. I got the same old stuff about medication. At least I wasn't asked the same old questions about water consumption, diet, sleep, lifestyle, but that's because I wasn't asked anything. Saying that she thinks my body needs rigid sleeping and eating patterns without even asking if I already have these?
As I said to her, there is no rhyme or reason. I could get 4 hours sleep and be totally fine. I could get 10 hours sleep and be ok. I could get the recommended 8 hours and wake up in agony. I've tried eliminating triggers, and I avoid the four things I know give me migraine: saccharin, Sesame Snaps, dark chocolate, and cheese. But I don't get migraines that often, so that information isn't really very useful. Trying to eliminate Coca Cola at the weekend only resulted in negative results - after twice getting intense headaches after drinking it, I then twice got no reaction from the same thing.
I've written to the Patient Advice and Liaison Service with a 5 page letter about what happened, and included all the information that this woman did not have. The information I had to pay for a copy of, but surely she should have access to for free.
Now I don't feel like I've lost. Now I feel like I lost some ground, but I am rallying my troops to recapture it.
I don't feel quite as let down as I did on Monday. I feel like this is just another hump in the journey that is my recovery. It's just one that I'm still really annoyed about.
Walking away from St Helier hospital on Monday, I couldn't help but cry. I tried not to; I was in public, about to get on a bus. But even on the phone to my nan, who I know I need to be strong for because of everything else going on, I broke down.
And when my mum phoned me a bit later, I was in the middle of another big cry.
I couldn't help but feel like I'd lost. Like this was my last stand - insisting I got referred, desperate for a new perspective.
I didn't get a new perspective. I got the same old stuff about medication. At least I wasn't asked the same old questions about water consumption, diet, sleep, lifestyle, but that's because I wasn't asked anything. Saying that she thinks my body needs rigid sleeping and eating patterns without even asking if I already have these?
As I said to her, there is no rhyme or reason. I could get 4 hours sleep and be totally fine. I could get 10 hours sleep and be ok. I could get the recommended 8 hours and wake up in agony. I've tried eliminating triggers, and I avoid the four things I know give me migraine: saccharin, Sesame Snaps, dark chocolate, and cheese. But I don't get migraines that often, so that information isn't really very useful. Trying to eliminate Coca Cola at the weekend only resulted in negative results - after twice getting intense headaches after drinking it, I then twice got no reaction from the same thing.
I've written to the Patient Advice and Liaison Service with a 5 page letter about what happened, and included all the information that this woman did not have. The information I had to pay for a copy of, but surely she should have access to for free.
Now I don't feel like I've lost. Now I feel like I lost some ground, but I am rallying my troops to recapture it.
I don't feel quite as let down as I did on Monday. I feel like this is just another hump in the journey that is my recovery. It's just one that I'm still really annoyed about.
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