Admin & paperwork

I have a headache right now. It's pretty tight around my forehead, sharp aching. 
But I'm not writing it down. I've made earlier this evening my cut off point for my headache diary, and I've spent the best part of two hours filling in and typing out and now printing 6 months worth of headache diary. 

I'm almost ready for the appointment tomorrow. Physically anyway, with all the paper work and documents.

But mentally?

Nah. Not at all.


33 pieces of A4 paper, 32 double sided.
Month 1 printed out from my excel document came out as 15 pages.

Thankfully my dad buys the printer paper.

Late frustration

I've just found out that the National Hospital of Neurology and Neurosurgery, where I am supposed to be referred to for my next consultation, has never had a referral letter from my GP.

I have in front of me the letter to my GP, from St Helier hospital, saying they are discharging me from their hospital and I should be referred to the National Hospital.

It is dated 6th October 2014.

On Friday it will be 4 months since that letter was sent.
I wondered what was taking so long.

Turns out, my GP failed me.

I am fuming beyond words, but I'm taking control of the situation. They will refer me this week, if it takes a phone call everyday to check up on them.


Just when I thought I was feeling the worst I could.

My Head Aches: Video blog part 2

"So, dude, what do you think's inside that hatch thing?" "Hope. I think hope's inside."

August 2015 is an important anniversary. In 1 year and 2 months I will have had this headache for 10 years. 

A decade of pain. A decade of frustration and despair. 

A decade of false hope.

I don't want to get to August next year and still be in pain. I want it to stop. I want to be better. I want to be fixed. 

When I was told that because I had chronic pain I couldn't bungy jump, I was angry. Angry at my body, my head. Angry at life. I wanted to get this sorted, I wanted it to stop holding me back. I wanted to be free.

So I went to the doctor yesterday, to ask his opinion. To ask someone else what I should be doing, what I could be doing. 

I opened the hatch. 

And what was inside?

Sorry Locke, but it sure as hell wasn't hope. 

I want to be fixed? 

It's about time I fixed myself. 

The Spoon Theory

...finally, a sort of way to explain my headache.

The Spoon Theory

Got the doctors tomorrow, for another attempt at getting some help. Yet another new perspective.