This is the first time in the history of my headache that I haven't plunged straight in with a new treatment with the first practitioner I've seen.
Today I had my second opinion from a chiropractor at Chiltern Health Centre in Sutton. And he said some similar, and some different things.
For a start, he didn't take any x-rays, but he looked at a neck x-ray I had left with the hypnotherapist at the clinic when I first started seeing him in January. Which lasted on two sessions before I had to start working on Saturdays and didn't manage to go back.
This neck x-ray is 4 years old, and I have had my car crash since then, but he still did the routine testing of the joints and when he compared what he felt to the x-ray, he said there wasn't much difference. This x-ray showed my neck is quite straight.
Well, at least it's not backwards.
Of course there were the usual 'oofs' and 'oohs' from me when he touched sensitive spots. And there was the usual "what the..." when he touched my shoulders and felt how rock solid they are (and not in a good rock solid muscle way. In a bad they-aren't-moving-not-because-I'm beefy-but-because-they're-broken way.
He took my medical history, during which I jumped all over the place - MRIs, drugs, Osteopathy, hypnotherapy, this year, that year.
He was glad to hear I wasn't hurt in the car crash, but seemed amused that I'd gotten acquainted with a ditch.
I got changed into a gown that had velcro up the back and he moved my head around and felt my neck joints. He lay me on a moving bed (well I stood on a foot plate against the vertical bed, then the whole thing moved backwards until horizontal) and he felt around the top of my neck. He pushed his fingers in the same places, like hooking his fingers under my skull. I do it to alleviate pain, and that's the same place I'm always rubbing. After a while he said the intensity should be ebbing away, and I said no, it's getting more intense on the right side. "Ah", he said. "You're not normal."
So after establishing that my shoulders are rock solid and I'm not normal because the intensity got worse... he said something that I have known for a while, and that the other chiropractor didn't really touch on: that the muscles and spine are connected, and neither one are letting the other do their job properly. My muscles in particular are baddies in this scenario, because as they get tighter, they pull the joints into the wrong position, and that's where they get stuck, and the other joints have to compensate.
I'm very aware my posture isn't bad, so really it's no news to me that I stick my head out and I'm rounding my back. Everything this guy said was matter of fact, no nonsense.
And the best (and worst) thing he said? Was that he doesn't know if this will make me better, and therefore he doesn't know how long it will take.
I have had so many people promise me I'll only need so many sessions, and I'm still going back after a year. When someone says to me "You'll be good as new in 10 sessions" I think "so I'll still be the same in 20 sessions". It's pessimistic, I know, but I have had so many false hopes.
This chiropractor recognises that both the joints and spine, and the muscle balance need to be addresses, simultaneously. And he said he'd use various different methods to do that when treating me, such as acupuncture and Tens machine, etc.
But, none of this will work, without my commitment.
And it has taken me this long but I realise now that no wonder the other treatments don't work - one hour, here and there, won't fix me, if I don't carry on treating myself at home.
I'm not talking learning how to adjust my own back. I'm talking stretches, exercise, hydration, healthy eating. I'm talking building up my muscle strength and making sure my muscles are strong enough to keep my spine healthy.
This is a way of life, I'm committing to. I'm not just having yet another treatment. I'm learning to heal myself, any way I can.
The question is, am I ready to commit?
Oh, and he told me to stop cracking my neck and back. Dammit.
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Sunday, 16 December 2012
My Back Aches
One of the few alternative therapies I have never tried over the course of the last 7 years is Chiropractic treatment. It has often been suggested to me, but I have tried almost everything else.
So a few months ago when I was walking through the Epsom shopping mall I jumped at the chance for a quick and free back check. I then signed up for a full consultation, which only cost me £50, including any x-rays required.
The place I went to is called ProBack, and I saw a Dr. Christian Allard.
The first time I went he explained how a back should look, and then he caused me pain by making me touch my toes and try to bend into various difficult positions. He checked my posture, he looked at my neck. He took a general medical history too.
He said he thought it was my brain stem causing the soreness I always feel and also causing my headache. Did you know the brain stem is the first thing in a person to develop? Dr. Allard also decided I needed x-rays.
I had to wait quite a few weeks for my x-rays at the clinic, because it was waiting for a part from America in order to make it work. But I got the results literally 10 minutes after the x-rays were done.
Dr. Allard asked me if I was sure I hadn't been dropped as a baby or been in a car accident. My thoracic vertebrae looks good, my lumbar are a bit out but really only because my neck curve is reversed.
Yes. You read that right.
My neck curve is reversed. I think this roughly translates into my neck is backwards.
My cervical curve is the wrong way, and he thinks that is causing my headache and a lot of my pain.
Yay.
There's also a big gap between my first vertebrae and spine on my right-hand side, which accounts for the loss of sensation. (In my first appointment, he moved a feather down my hands and feet to see if I could feel it. I could barely feel anything on my right hand side.)
So some permanent nerve damage, but not completely untreatable.
I do, however, have the back of a 40-year-old.
So what is the solution, according to Dr. Allard and ProBack.
ProBack use a particular machine to treat back problems, called the ProBack Pulse. Rather than the usual back cracking you might associate with chiropractors, ProBack practitioners do not work on that basis. The Pulse machine works to record the health of your spine, one vertebrae at a time, and then uses vibration to loosen the tension and reposition vertebrae to make it better. I'm not going to lie, it sounds like a taser. But it does not hurt at all, and it does make you feel looser, but for me it did not eradicate any pain.
If I want to treat my back effectively, and get it back to full health, Dr. Allard recommends 3 sets of 12 treatments. The first 12 are done in quick succession - 3x a week for 4 weeks, or 4x a week for 3 weeks. The next 12 are done twice weekly, for 6 weeks. Then once a week for 12 weeks. So you are looking at up 22 weeks.
And each treatment is £40. There is a payment plan available, but you do the math.
Cost never used to be an issue for me with treatments for my head. But because I have tried so many, and been let down so often, this is quite an expensive gamble. There is no guarantee this will cure my headache, although it is guaranteed to make me taller by improving my posture.
The theory is that I have a headache because my back and shoulders and neck are bad, and my back, shoulders and neck are bad because I have a headache. Vicious cycle.
Could Dr. Allard, and ProBack finally be the cure?
I'll kick myself if it is and it's taken me 7 years to get here!
But I am going to get a second opinion first. Much as I trust them, and they have given me no reason to think they are lying (and I saw the x-rays, my neck is the wrong way!), I want to be sure I am going to get a result for my money.
So watch this space, and I'll let you know whether Dr. Christian Allard saves the day.
Funnily enough, the way I've sat to write this blog, has made my back hurt :(
So a few months ago when I was walking through the Epsom shopping mall I jumped at the chance for a quick and free back check. I then signed up for a full consultation, which only cost me £50, including any x-rays required.
The place I went to is called ProBack, and I saw a Dr. Christian Allard.
The first time I went he explained how a back should look, and then he caused me pain by making me touch my toes and try to bend into various difficult positions. He checked my posture, he looked at my neck. He took a general medical history too.
He said he thought it was my brain stem causing the soreness I always feel and also causing my headache. Did you know the brain stem is the first thing in a person to develop? Dr. Allard also decided I needed x-rays.
I had to wait quite a few weeks for my x-rays at the clinic, because it was waiting for a part from America in order to make it work. But I got the results literally 10 minutes after the x-rays were done.
Dr. Allard asked me if I was sure I hadn't been dropped as a baby or been in a car accident. My thoracic vertebrae looks good, my lumbar are a bit out but really only because my neck curve is reversed.
Yes. You read that right.
My neck curve is reversed. I think this roughly translates into my neck is backwards.
My cervical curve is the wrong way, and he thinks that is causing my headache and a lot of my pain.
Yay.
There's also a big gap between my first vertebrae and spine on my right-hand side, which accounts for the loss of sensation. (In my first appointment, he moved a feather down my hands and feet to see if I could feel it. I could barely feel anything on my right hand side.)
So some permanent nerve damage, but not completely untreatable.
I do, however, have the back of a 40-year-old.
So what is the solution, according to Dr. Allard and ProBack.
ProBack use a particular machine to treat back problems, called the ProBack Pulse. Rather than the usual back cracking you might associate with chiropractors, ProBack practitioners do not work on that basis. The Pulse machine works to record the health of your spine, one vertebrae at a time, and then uses vibration to loosen the tension and reposition vertebrae to make it better. I'm not going to lie, it sounds like a taser. But it does not hurt at all, and it does make you feel looser, but for me it did not eradicate any pain.
If I want to treat my back effectively, and get it back to full health, Dr. Allard recommends 3 sets of 12 treatments. The first 12 are done in quick succession - 3x a week for 4 weeks, or 4x a week for 3 weeks. The next 12 are done twice weekly, for 6 weeks. Then once a week for 12 weeks. So you are looking at up 22 weeks.
And each treatment is £40. There is a payment plan available, but you do the math.
Cost never used to be an issue for me with treatments for my head. But because I have tried so many, and been let down so often, this is quite an expensive gamble. There is no guarantee this will cure my headache, although it is guaranteed to make me taller by improving my posture.
The theory is that I have a headache because my back and shoulders and neck are bad, and my back, shoulders and neck are bad because I have a headache. Vicious cycle.
Could Dr. Allard, and ProBack finally be the cure?
I'll kick myself if it is and it's taken me 7 years to get here!
But I am going to get a second opinion first. Much as I trust them, and they have given me no reason to think they are lying (and I saw the x-rays, my neck is the wrong way!), I want to be sure I am going to get a result for my money.
So watch this space, and I'll let you know whether Dr. Christian Allard saves the day.
Funnily enough, the way I've sat to write this blog, has made my back hurt :(
Friday, 5 October 2012
Aftermath
Today, I visited the dark world I rarely inhabit - only this time, I was at work.
As I sat there trying desperately to ignore the growing pain, all I could think was that I had so much work to do.
Because migraines, they stop you doing anything. They sap all your energy. They stop your thoughts from making any sense.
"I don't live in Sutton, I live in England", came out of my mouth today during this delirium.
As well as saying "I'm so high" when I got dizzy. I meant high as in tall. Which I'm definitely not.
But whilst the migraine stops you, nothing else stops. The world keeps turning. Work carries on. But without you, despite your best efforts.
I wanted desperately to stay. I had things to do.
But when you have to go and lie down in a medical room with a pillow over your face, there's not all that much you can get done at work.
I'm fed up. I can't remember the last time I felt well. I'm 23, I want to make the most of my life! I want to be able to work to my full potential, socialise and have fun. I don't want to go home to bed every night feeling drained because my head has not stopped hurting.
I don't get why I've had two migraine attacks in such a short period of time. I have only really had a few before, maybe one a year on average.
The worst thing is I will probably never discover why. I can see doctors, osteopaths, chiropractors and even hypnotherapists.
But what can they do? Crack my back and make me forget it ever happened?
I just want it to stop hurting. 10 hours later and I'm still struggling with bright light, and loud noises, and the pain in my head that comes and goes like waves.
I would like to wave goodbye to it please. Pretty please. With an aspirin on top.
As I sat there trying desperately to ignore the growing pain, all I could think was that I had so much work to do.
Because migraines, they stop you doing anything. They sap all your energy. They stop your thoughts from making any sense.
"I don't live in Sutton, I live in England", came out of my mouth today during this delirium.
As well as saying "I'm so high" when I got dizzy. I meant high as in tall. Which I'm definitely not.
But whilst the migraine stops you, nothing else stops. The world keeps turning. Work carries on. But without you, despite your best efforts.
I wanted desperately to stay. I had things to do.
But when you have to go and lie down in a medical room with a pillow over your face, there's not all that much you can get done at work.
I'm fed up. I can't remember the last time I felt well. I'm 23, I want to make the most of my life! I want to be able to work to my full potential, socialise and have fun. I don't want to go home to bed every night feeling drained because my head has not stopped hurting.
I don't get why I've had two migraine attacks in such a short period of time. I have only really had a few before, maybe one a year on average.
The worst thing is I will probably never discover why. I can see doctors, osteopaths, chiropractors and even hypnotherapists.
But what can they do? Crack my back and make me forget it ever happened?
I just want it to stop hurting. 10 hours later and I'm still struggling with bright light, and loud noises, and the pain in my head that comes and goes like waves.
I would like to wave goodbye to it please. Pretty please. With an aspirin on top.
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
A World of Pain
I am writing this blog from a dark place that I do not visit regularly, or stay in long.
But when I leave, the door to this dark place is always open. Always ready to receive me. Always happy to welcome me into its unrelenting and tortuous arms.
Because the pain that leads to this dark place never stops. It never goes away. I can never turn my back on it, because it is always there. It is such a part of me that I think the only way it will end, is when I do.
I'm stronger than I used to be about it. I am able to write this blog. I have been able to work, and commute home from work, and when I got in I fed the cats. I have been able to take off my jewellery and get into my pyjamas.
But this pain systematically claws at this strength I cling to, looking for the weak spots.
And when it finds them, I end up collapsed on the kitchen floor sobbing my heart out, but afraid to move because every turn of my head results in more agony.
I heard on the radio this morning, that Nice have issued official advice for headache sufferers, which include Acupuncture for tension headaches, and not taking painkillers. My nan even cut out the article from The Telegraph for me.
This is something I already knew. Medication overuse is one of the vague reasons given to me for my 7 yearitch headache. That, as well as psychological problems and anxiety about joining Sixth Form, riding too many rollercoasters in Florida, drinking Coca-Cola and eating chocolate. One of my GPs actually suggested that maybe when my parent's divorce had finally been settled, my headaches would get better.
Yes, the divorce they started LAST YEAR. 6 years into this pain.
So, for those suggesting that my Chronic Daily Tension Headache could be treated with Acupuncture, may I inform I have had 2 courses of Acupuncture, one lasting about 8 or 9 weeks when I was in Sixth Form (so right at the beginning of my headache), and another lasting months, and provided by the NHS, during my 2nd and 3rd years at university.
And oh wait, I'm not cured.
As for taking too many painkillers, that's a No Sh*t Sherlock situation. I have not been the most responsible with painkillers over my life time and they have usually been the first thing I reach for when my head hurts. I have pushed myself to resist, and today I did. for 4 hours. Until my headache got so unbearable I could barely walk straight and I thought I was going to pass out and/or vomit from the pain.
3 hours later, the headache is marginally better. I still feel hugely nauseous and faint.
Going cold turkey from painkillers is not mission impossible, but it is mission un-bloody-likely. Not when you've had 7 years of pain already and whilst you can cope with the day to day dull ache that NEVER.GOES.AWAY, the blinding nausea-inducing headaches are not going to go away unless you go to sleep then and there. And when you are trying to make a living and get on with your life, that's not going to happen.
The neurologist in The Telegraph article recommends that coming off the painkillers should be done in consultation with your GP about preventative medication.
Ohhh! Why haven't I tried that??
Oh wait yeah. Years number 3 and 4 of headache. Silly me.
So essentially, this new "official advice" proffered up today to us poor headache sufferers (of which there are 1 million of us with medication overuse headaches, and a further 1.5 million with tension headaches - so which group do I wallow with I if I have a Chronic Tension headache possibly caused by medication overuse and/or tension?) is nothing I haven't heard before.
Oh except that tension headaches are difficult to treat.
No wait, I knew that one too.
**
Do I walk around with haunted eyes?
Do you see the pain that resides
Behind them?
The stabbing, the scraping, the hot poker iron.
The hammer, or mallet, the roar like a lion
When it throbs, and it pounds, and whirls me around
The world of pain.
Welcome. We hope you enjoy your stay.
But when I leave, the door to this dark place is always open. Always ready to receive me. Always happy to welcome me into its unrelenting and tortuous arms.
Because the pain that leads to this dark place never stops. It never goes away. I can never turn my back on it, because it is always there. It is such a part of me that I think the only way it will end, is when I do.
I'm stronger than I used to be about it. I am able to write this blog. I have been able to work, and commute home from work, and when I got in I fed the cats. I have been able to take off my jewellery and get into my pyjamas.
But this pain systematically claws at this strength I cling to, looking for the weak spots.
And when it finds them, I end up collapsed on the kitchen floor sobbing my heart out, but afraid to move because every turn of my head results in more agony.
I heard on the radio this morning, that Nice have issued official advice for headache sufferers, which include Acupuncture for tension headaches, and not taking painkillers. My nan even cut out the article from The Telegraph for me.
This is something I already knew. Medication overuse is one of the vague reasons given to me for my 7 year
Yes, the divorce they started LAST YEAR. 6 years into this pain.
So, for those suggesting that my Chronic Daily Tension Headache could be treated with Acupuncture, may I inform I have had 2 courses of Acupuncture, one lasting about 8 or 9 weeks when I was in Sixth Form (so right at the beginning of my headache), and another lasting months, and provided by the NHS, during my 2nd and 3rd years at university.
And oh wait, I'm not cured.
As for taking too many painkillers, that's a No Sh*t Sherlock situation. I have not been the most responsible with painkillers over my life time and they have usually been the first thing I reach for when my head hurts. I have pushed myself to resist, and today I did. for 4 hours. Until my headache got so unbearable I could barely walk straight and I thought I was going to pass out and/or vomit from the pain.
3 hours later, the headache is marginally better. I still feel hugely nauseous and faint.
Going cold turkey from painkillers is not mission impossible, but it is mission un-bloody-likely. Not when you've had 7 years of pain already and whilst you can cope with the day to day dull ache that NEVER.GOES.AWAY, the blinding nausea-inducing headaches are not going to go away unless you go to sleep then and there. And when you are trying to make a living and get on with your life, that's not going to happen.
The neurologist in The Telegraph article recommends that coming off the painkillers should be done in consultation with your GP about preventative medication.
Ohhh! Why haven't I tried that??
Oh wait yeah. Years number 3 and 4 of headache. Silly me.
So essentially, this new "official advice" proffered up today to us poor headache sufferers (of which there are 1 million of us with medication overuse headaches, and a further 1.5 million with tension headaches - so which group do I wallow with I if I have a Chronic Tension headache possibly caused by medication overuse and/or tension?) is nothing I haven't heard before.
Oh except that tension headaches are difficult to treat.
No wait, I knew that one too.
**
Do I walk around with haunted eyes?
Do you see the pain that resides
Behind them?
The stabbing, the scraping, the hot poker iron.
The hammer, or mallet, the roar like a lion
When it throbs, and it pounds, and whirls me around
The world of pain.
Welcome. We hope you enjoy your stay.
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Action Week
Ages ago, I decided that doing several things in one go to target my headache would be a useful experiment.
So in the last 5 days, I've had my own little headache action week.
Last Thursday, I had a 2 hour sports massage. It was brutal at times, but I wanted to start loosening my knots, in order to help the Botox, that I had booked in for Saturday, to work.
I still felt pretty knotted up afterwards, but it did help. I came home and did a hypnotherapy relaxation session from CD as soon as I got back. I wanted to help my muscles relax as much as possible.
On Saturday I had Botox treatment. The first time I had Botox for my headache, it helped somewhat, but that was 6 months ago now. I saw a different doctor this time, at a different clinic, and I have a review session in 2 weeks. This doctor explained the muscles in my head, and why he'd put the Botox in the particular places. When he showed me which muscles he'd be injecting, they started to hurt more in anticipation (or a last offensive attack?) The doctor was jovial, and I can't wait to go back haha!
I did another hypnotherapy relaxation session over the weekend too. I get fidgety, it's hard to stay still for so long. But it does make me feel quite relaxed.
Today, I had a good Raynor massage from Dave Taylor. We get on very well, and he knows my body very well too. When he finished, I lay there in headache-free bliss for a few moments.
Today is the first day that the Botox starts getting to work (3 days after treatment, 14 days maximum it takes to work), and my headache pain has been minimal. It has barely spiked above a 5 today, and has rested mostly at a 2 or 3! Walking around made it worse at times, and some of the pain has probably come from dehydration. But mostly the worse pains I've felt today have been muscular. So that's something!
I just wish I had the time, and the money, to have more regular treatments.
Maybe now is the time to start Yoga again, while my head has a chance.
So in the last 5 days, I've had my own little headache action week.
Last Thursday, I had a 2 hour sports massage. It was brutal at times, but I wanted to start loosening my knots, in order to help the Botox, that I had booked in for Saturday, to work.
I still felt pretty knotted up afterwards, but it did help. I came home and did a hypnotherapy relaxation session from CD as soon as I got back. I wanted to help my muscles relax as much as possible.
On Saturday I had Botox treatment. The first time I had Botox for my headache, it helped somewhat, but that was 6 months ago now. I saw a different doctor this time, at a different clinic, and I have a review session in 2 weeks. This doctor explained the muscles in my head, and why he'd put the Botox in the particular places. When he showed me which muscles he'd be injecting, they started to hurt more in anticipation (or a last offensive attack?) The doctor was jovial, and I can't wait to go back haha!
I did another hypnotherapy relaxation session over the weekend too. I get fidgety, it's hard to stay still for so long. But it does make me feel quite relaxed.
Today, I had a good Raynor massage from Dave Taylor. We get on very well, and he knows my body very well too. When he finished, I lay there in headache-free bliss for a few moments.
Today is the first day that the Botox starts getting to work (3 days after treatment, 14 days maximum it takes to work), and my headache pain has been minimal. It has barely spiked above a 5 today, and has rested mostly at a 2 or 3! Walking around made it worse at times, and some of the pain has probably come from dehydration. But mostly the worse pains I've felt today have been muscular. So that's something!
I just wish I had the time, and the money, to have more regular treatments.
Maybe now is the time to start Yoga again, while my head has a chance.
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